How I imagine misogynists were taught to pick fruit.
Step 1: hand walk your standards to the nearest grocery store.
Step 2: grab a shopping cart before you walk through the doors. even if you aren’t planning on buying much. The grocery list of societal standards is too heavy a thing to carry with your bare hands.
Step 3: find your way down the produce aisle. let your eyes lead you to the watermelon bin.
Step 4: marvel at the wide variety of selections just waiting for you to choose from. relish the feeling of the power under your finger pads. control. remember, you are to the full bargain.
Step 5: the optimal watermelon should not be too light, too dry, too heavy, or too watery. watermelon bmi is complicated to get into, but you alone are qualified should determine the worth of the watermelon. but remember, you are entitled to a good bargain.
Step 6: discard the underweight and overweight, now only paying attention to the striated perfectly rounded beauties. you are entitled to a good bargain.
Step 7: scrutinize the stripes of the remaining watermelons. stripes the wider the better. the flashier the better. choose the brightest, the most colorful. because you are entitled to a trophy bargain.
Step 8: slap the fruit, check for water buoyancy or signs of resistance. round your hands against the watermelon rind. regardless of how perfectly weighted or striped, discard at any sound other than hollow submission. remember you are entitled to an obedient bargain.
Step 8: purchase the perfect watermelon; take her home. remember that you are entitled to a perfect bargain.
Step 9: at home, the watermelon should be quiet, transparent, always ready for your hands to flesh out the sweet parts of herself she has secretly hid under her skin for so long. ready to comply with whatever knife you may use to cut her skin. savor the sweet, subtle, willing, obedience.
remember, you are entitled to the bargain.